From the moment I learned that I’m expecting again, my heart was thrown into a world of complex emotions.
There’s a deep, resonant hope within me for a smooth, healthy, and complete pregnancy journey this time around. Yet, this hope is delicately intertwined with threads of apprehension and memories of my first pregnancy—a journey that was cut short due to severe preeclampsia.
The experience of preeclampsia was like a storm that came without warning, turning my world upside down. The hardest part was watching my tiny, fragile newborn babies, tubed up and wired in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).
Those images are etched in my mind: the beeping machines, the sterile scent of the hospital, and the overwhelming feeling of helplessness as I stood by their side. It was an experience that has left a lasting imprint on my heart.
I have been envisioning a different experience this time—one that is full and joyful. I dream of holding my baby in my arms, not through layers of medical equipment, but in the quiet and peace of a room filled with love and relief.
Despite this hope, there’s a part of me that can’t help but feel guarded, bracing for the unknown. I remind myself that no two pregnancies are the same, and with the advances in medical care, I am in good hands. I am thankful to all who had in the past assured me, monitored me, and helped me navigate the complex web of emotions and physical changes.
I am grateful to the team of medical experts who will take care of me and my ongoing pregnancy.
I lean heavily on the support of my loved ones—my husband, family, and friends.
Note to self: It is okay to feel this mix of hope and fear, excitement and anxiety. It’s all part of this incredibly personal, deeply emotional journey of bringing new life into this world.
As I move forward, I embrace the full spectrum of my feelings, knowing that each one is valid and a part of this journey.
This is my story of resilience and hope, a journey towards the joy of motherhood that awaits.
